In these exceptionally challenging times, nothing can be taken for granted and there seems to be a general and relentless erosion of our stability and sanity.
I want to share with you the one thing which has really helped keep me grounded, centred and clear in these uncertain times…
The choice between being reactive and responsive.
Within us we have a set of polarities or states of being which I like to call Big Me & Little Me and they are directly linked to the way we handle or don't handle our experiences.
It's interesting to note that from an energetic perspective the Throat chakra, the energy centre responsible for choice and expression, is also the pivotal point between Big Me & Little Me within us.
In other words, we can choose if we want to behave from a bigger more expanded or smaller more contracted perspective in any given situation.
“To be human is to exist in a state of flux between Love and Fear”
The choice between reaction and response.
Reaction can be described as the Little Me behaviour - coming from a place of fear or ego. When we are in a reactive state we tend to make decisions that are exclusive, disconnected and come from a place of fear, lack and a contractive sense of less than.
Response can be described as the Big Me behaviour - coming from a place of love, peace and connection. When we are in a responsive state we tend to make decisions that are inclusive and come from a place of love, connection and a sense of bigger picture expansion.
Self-awareness is key
I recommend a powerful exercise in clarity where you list exactly what you look like when you are playing out Big or Little Me from the different layers of your being ie. physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Click here for a free PDF worksheet to do the self-awareness exercise.
Once you have clarity of what you look like in any given situation, the awareness of your behaviour gives you the option to choose which perspective you want to come from.
“Find clarity about what you are experiencing
and use the power of choice within you.”
The anatomy of choice
Let us have a look at how you can expect a challenging situation to play out:
1. A difficult situation occurs where you are triggered into a Little Me reaction.
2. Your awareness of what is happening kicks in and with practice you identify that you are reacting and behaving from a disempowered, fearful and disconnected place.
3. You choose if you want to continue behaving in this way or shift into response and connection instead.
4. You reap the benefits of your decision.
Moving out of your comfort zone
You might be thinking at this point that it seems so easy when the anatomy of choice is described like that, but realistically when you are in the heat of the moment you aren't suddenly going to just stop and say: 'Oh look... I'm being reactive. Let me stop this behaviour right now and choose to respond from a state of peace instead!'
The reality, my friends, is that this is a practice. The first time you try it, more than likely you will revert back to being disconnected & reactive the moment the situation continues.
Like anything of value, this practice is a skill that you need to keep working at.
Firstly, from an initial identification point of view - hindsight is 20/20 vision, it's far more difficult to catch yourself in the moment and have the awareness of what is happening.
Secondly, when you are triggered and hooked into a situation and you've lost your grounding, centre and calm, choosing to see blue instead of red is a real challenge.
What I can promise you is this: If you practice this technique, with time and experience you will begin to see through the distressing situations of Little Me far more easily and quickly. You will learn not to take things personally and will afford those around you the opportunity to do the same. With practice, you begin to choose peace, connection and love more frequently than fear, discomfort and disconnection. Your vibration will rise and your Big Me will start to take the driver's seat in your life.
“With practice, you begin to choose peace, connection and love more frequently than fear, discomfort and disconnection. ”
In conclusion, life will not stop throwing you curveballs. There will always be ups and downs and truly there is nothing more constant than change.
However, if you can make the choice of response above reaction, there will be more ease, flow and harmony in your life. You will have decided to choose love, peace and connection above fear, disharmony and disconnection and I cannot recommend this enough. I promise it will be worth its weight in gold.
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